Favorite Books of 2019

Collage of the covers of my favorite books of 2019I set out to read 100 books in 2019. I read 109. And the time has come once again for me to tell you about my absolute favorite books of this year.

I feel like my favorites list is shorter than usual. This is partly because I did a lot of rereading this year, over the summer in particular because of the bar exam. This is also because I read a few books that were just absolute standouts of amazingness this year, and everything else was compared to them. Though I don’t usually single out my top favorites from the books I’ve read each year, for 2019 I actually have clear favorites: Beartown by Fredrik Backman, which I actually read twice in 2019; the five Brandon Sanderson books I read this year; and the Nevermoor series by Jessica Townsend. This isn’t to say that I didn’t really like the other books on this list. They wouldn’t be on this list if I didn’t. But this year I discovered Fredrik Backman and Brandon Sanderson and Nevermoor and they are just amazing! I’ll stop now or I’ll be raving all night.

The other interesting thing to me is the diversity of genre on this list. There are three nonfiction books on this list, quite a few series but also a bunch of standalones, some fantasy and contemporary, even a horror book, and the books cover all age categories, from Charlotte’s Web up through middle grade, young adult, and adult. I’m kind of proud of myself for reading so many different books in 2019.

I’m not including books that I reread and still loved in 2019 on this list, because they’re already on my book recs page. I’m also not including series that I’m in the middle of and still kind of ambivalent on, which is to say I’m still not including the Expanse on this list. The Expanse is actually leaning toward book recs page material, but of the five books I’ve read I really liked three, was sort of meh about one, and really disliked one, so I’m having a hard time recommending the whole series at this moment. But that might change next year. Finally, since I’ve talked about most of these books in detail in other places, I’m just going to list them here, occasionally with some explanatory notes. If you’re curious for more details, you can check out all my posts in my book recommendations and reviews category.

Speaking of my book recs page, it’s now all up-to-date with my 2019 favorites included. Go check it out.

Now that I’ve explained everything, let’s get down to it.

Jameyanne’s Favorite books of 2019, in no particular order

  • Catch-22 by Joseph Heller
  • The Outsiders by S. E. Hinton
  • The Ocean At the End of the Lane by Neil Gaiman
  • Wren’s War and Wren Journeymage by Sherwood Smith (I read the first two books in the series in 2018)
  • Beartown by Fredrik Backman (the sequel is also good, but not as good as Beartown, and I recommend you just read the first book at this point)
  • The Magic Thief series by Sarah Prineas (I read the first two books in 2018 but wanted to finish the series before deciding if it would be a favorite or not)
  • The Street by Ann Petry
  • The Grown-up by Gillian Flynn
  • Hidden Figures: The American Dream and the Untold Story of the Black Mathematicians Who Helped Win the Space Race by Margot Lee Shetterley
  • Charlotte’s Web by E. B. White
  • James and the Giant Peach by Roald Dahl
  • Code Girls: The Untold Story of the American Women Code Breakers Who Helped Win World War II by Liza Mundy
  • A Woman of No Importance: The Untold Story of the American Spy Who Helped Win World War II by Sonia Purnell
  • Ash Princess by Laura Sebastian (I’ve only read the first one so far but it was great, and I’m looking forward to diving into the second book, which I own, and the third, which comes out in February)
  • The English Patient by Michael Ondaatje
  • To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee
  • The Stormlight Archives series by Brandon Sanderson (the series is not complete yet, but I’ve read everything that’s been published so far: the first three books and the novella Edgedancer)
  • The Final Empire by Brandon Sanderson (this is the first in the Mistborn books and I loved it so much I was afraid to pick up the second book so I can’t speak to the rest of the series yet; I’ll let you know at the end of January how that turns out.)
  • The Winner’s Trilogy by Marie Rutkoski
  • Cutting for Stone by Abraham Verghese
  • Night by Elie Wiesel (not a pleasant book to read, but very powerful, should be required reading)
  • The Remnant Chronicles by Mary E. Pearson
  • Cassidy Blake series by Victoria Schwab
  • Willow Run by Patricia Reilly Giff
  • The Furthermore duology by Taherea Mafi
  • Nevermoor series by Jessica Townsend (the third book comes out in August and I’m just dying to get my hands on it because I just love these books so much!)
  • A Path Begins by J. A. White (I only read the first book in this series by the end of 2019, but really enjoyed it and I’m working on the rest of the series now)
  • Greetings from Witness Protection by Jake Burt
  • Baker’s Magic by Diane Zahler

And that’s it for 2019. Have you read any of these books? What did you think of them? And what are your favorite reads of 2019?

December Reading Roundup

Collage of the 19 books I read in DecemberDecember was a great reading month. I read a whopping 19 books. And I really loved so many of them.

I started several new series, continued with some series I’ve been reading all year, and finished a few series. I also read several stand-alone books. I hit a bunch of genres and age categories too this month: fantasy, sci fi, historical fiction, contemporary fiction, and nonfiction, as well as middle grade, young adult, and adult books.

So let’s dive right into it.

First, I read the Furthermore duology by Taherea Mafi, Furthermore and Whichwood. I am once again on the hunt for comp titles for my middle grade fantasy book, which is to say books that are similar enough to mine that I can reference to publishers. So I read a lot of middle grade books this month, including these too. While they are definitely not good comp titles for mine, I really enjoyed them. Alice lives in a world where magic thrives, and the more colorful you are, the more magic you have. But Alice has no color at all, and so everyone thinks she has no magic. Worse, Alice’s father has vanished, and life at home has become unbearable to Alice. Then a boy named Oliver invites Alice on an adventure to find her father in another world called Furthermore. Furthermore, turns out to be incredibly tricky and dangerous at every turn, and Oliver also isn’t being totally honest with Alice. These books reminded me a little of Catherynne Valente’s Fairyland books, with these vivid and unique worlds and a narrator with a personality. They were really fun, but also pretty dark at points. And I definitely recommend these books.

I started 2019 reading the first three books of Rick Riordan’s Trials of Apollo series, which follows his Percy Jackson and Heroes of Olympus series. The fourth book, The Tyrant’s Tomb, came out this fall, and I finally got my hands on a copy and read it in December. After the tumultuous end to the last book, Apollo and Meg journey to Camp Jupiter, only to discover that the emperors are planning to attack. Adventures ensue to save Camp Jupiter. Things that I liked about this book: is Apollo finally getting some character development? Frank and Hazel. So much Frank and Hazel. The climactic battle, which I obviously can’t tell you about because spoilers. Things I didn’t like about this book so much: honestly these books are all starting to feel the same. I know I read a lot of books in December, but I actually had to look up a plot summary for this one because I was getting it mixed up with the first three. These books are like fun popcorn, but that’s about it, which is unfortunately not how I felt about Percy Jackson and Heroes of Olympus series.

Throughout December, I continued my reread of Tamora Pierce’s Tortall books with her Immortals series. I read all four Immortals books this month, Wild Magic, Wolf Speaker, Emperor Mage, and The Realms of the Gods. These books held up a lot better on this reread than the Lioness books did. There’s a relationship in the fourth book that I seriously disapprove of, but I have always disapproved of it so that isn’t a heart shattering discovery. But on the whole I love journeying with Daine as she discovers her magic and makes friends and finds a new home and has such great adventures. Also these books have such awesome human and animal friendships and I love them.

Next, I read One for the Murphys by Lynda Mullaly Hunt. This was another book I picked up in my search for comp titles—it wasn’t a good comp title either—and I ended up with such mixed feelings about this book. After her stepfather beats her and her mother up, Carly ends up in foster care. With her new foster family, the Murphys, Carly learns what it’s like to have a real family in a normal home. She makes friends, deals with bullies, and generally is happier than she’s ever been. Then her mother starts recovering in the hospital and wants to reconnect. This book made me cry. A lot. And okay it doesn’t take much to make that happen. But once I got over my feelings, I spotted the problems, and once I spotted the problems, I couldn’t unspot them. I love how Carly’s feelings are depicted in this book. It feels really authentic, and it’s really well-done. But even though my knowledge of the foster care system is limited, I’m pretty sure there are significant problems with how it’s portrayed. Carly would probably have a therapist to help her through all this, and she would also have an attorney to represent her interests in any court proceedings. At thirteen, Carly would be old enough that her views and desires would be taken into consideration in any proceedings too. And once we find out more about the situation that sent Carly to foster care, no way would her mother be able to reconnect with her so easily. And the ending. Ugh the ending. That’s just not how that would go. It’s possible that the author was trying to keep the book a little simpler for middle grade readers, but if the foster care system had been depicted more accurately, it actually would have given Carly more agency and made it a stronger book, in my opinion. All in all, I did enjoy this book. It gave me serious feelings, and that was the strongest part of the book. But the problems with how the foster care system worked in the book really dragged it down for me.

After that, I read A Path Begins by J. A. White. This is the first book in White’s Thickety series, and I’m in the middle of the second book now. When Kara was five years old, her mother was accused of witchcraft and executed by her village just hours after giving birth to Kara’s younger brother, Taff. Now Kara is twelve, and with her father still struggling with grief for her mother, she has virtually become her sickly brother’s guardian and the sole caretaker of her farm. She is shunned by the rest of her island village because of her mother. Then she discovers an old spellbook and begins to practice her mother’s forbidden magic and to learn about her mother and what really happened that night. The island is also dominated by this super freaky forest full of dangerous magical plants. The forest, called the Thickety, is constantly trying to encroach on  the village, and Kara also discovers there’s an evil forest demon who’s after her in particular. This was an incredibly dark and creepy middle grade book, and I loved it. I particularly enjoyed watching Kara grapple with her new power and whether it means her mother was evil and now she’s evil too because her religion forbids witchcraft. I loved how all the characters in this book learned and grew and changed. I love how complex the plot is. And the climax and ending of this book were just so amazing. This was a great book and a great start to a series. I’m currently stuck   in middle of the second book because my library copy expired and I’m waiting to be able to borrow it again, but I can’t wait to get back to it.

This month I discovered the Nevermoor series by Jessica Townsend. I blazed through the first two books, Nevermoor: The Trials of Morrigan Crow and Wondersmith: The Calling of Morrigan Crow. I won’t be able to do this series justice with my description, but I’m going to try. Morrigan Crow is a cursed child. She was born on the last day of the last age, and so she is destined to die on the eve of the next age. On top of that, she is blamed for every little thing that goes wrong in her town. But just hours before she is expected to die, a stranger named Jupiter North appears and whisks Morrigan away from her neglectful family, snatching her from the jaws of the Hunt of Smoke and Shadow which has come to kill her. Jupiter brings Morrigan to the wondrous world of Nevermoor and enters her as a candidate in the trials to join the Wondrous Society. Morrigan is soon falling in love with her new world and her new friends, but the only way she can stay in Nevermoor is to pass the trials and be admitted to the Wondrous Society. In order to do that, she needs a knack, and Morrigan is positive that she doesn’t have one. And if she’s sent home, the Hunt of Smoke and Shadow will get her. I won’t go into what happens in the second book because it is super spoilery, but everything about these books is spectacular. The world is just so vivid and unique, and the characters are fabulous. I just fell in love with  this series and now I’m raving about it to anyone who will listen. I’m also deeply disappointed because for some reason I thought the third book was coming out this week and then realized that it isn’t coming out until August and that’s just too long to wait guys! On the plus side it means if you haven’t read  the NEVERMOOR books, you have time to get caught up. So go  read them. Go read them now.

Next, I read The Institute by Stephen King. I’ve never been a huge Stephen King fan, but I picked this up because the summary sounded eerily similar to a project I’m working on. Luke is a child genius. One night, strangers break into his house, kill his parents, and kidnap Luke. Luke wakes up in a strange place called the Institute, where he learns that he has telekinetic powers, and the people running the Institute are experimenting on him and kids like him for some nefarious purpose. This book definitely kept me reading from start to finish, but on the whole it just wasn’t really my thing, and I can’t quite explain why. The portrayal of the kids was really weird, and I didn’t like the point of view shifts so much. And there were just some needlessly brutal details. I don’t know. If you’re a King fan, you’d probably really like this book. There were definitely parts that I loved. But on the whole it just wasn’t my kind of book.

Next, I read The Fog Diver by Joel Ross. This was another book that I picked up in search of a comp title, only to realize it’s sci fi so not the right genre for my purposes. That was a very misleading description when it came to genre. Anyway, I blew through this book in just a few days. Hazel, Swedish, Chess, & Bea are a crew of orphans operating an airship and salvaging things hidden in the fog on earth below. Chess, our protagonist, is the one who dives into the fog, which is poisonous to almost everyone else. The kids are trying to earn enough money to get the woman who took them in out of the slums and over to another city where her fog sickness can be cured. But of course everything goes wrong and they end up on a rollicking adventure through the air, chased by an evil lord and a bunch of pirates. This is a fun exciting book. I really liked how today’s culture is depicted as totally scrambled ‘up in the future, and I love the kids’ teamwork and friendship. On the other hand, the writing in this book was pretty simplistic, and that really got under my skin. There was a lot I liked in this book, but it just didn’t stand out to me the way so many other books have this year. I’m not sure I would recommend this book to friends, and I’m not sure I’m going to go on to read the sequel.

After that, I picked up Where the Crawdads Sing by Delia Owens. This book is about a girl who is abandoned by her family and shunned by her whole town. She basically grows up on her own, with practically everybody in the town hating her. Then in the present we’re following a police investigation into the murder of a very well-liked young man, and the marsh girl is the main suspect. Sorry, I can’t remember anyone’s names and I’m too lazy to look this book up again. The writing in this book was beautiful. Delia Owens does a great job with vivid descriptions, and I felt like I was in the North Carolina marshes. I loved the parts about the girl growing up on her own. I didn’t like the murder investigation storyline as much. Like a lot of present-day storylines in books like this, it felt forced, like the author was trying to shoehorn in some more plot, and it just didn’t grip me the way the rest of the book did. I know a lot of people absolutely love this book, but I came down pretty neutral. On the whole, I didn’t love it, but I didn’t dislike it either.

I’ve been working my through The Expanse series by James S. A. Corey this year. I’ve been getting the books out of the library, and there have been really long wait times, but this month I was able to read the fifth book, Nemesis Games. After the fourth book, the ship needs some pretty major repairs, so while that’s going on, the crew splits up to do some personal stuff, and then terrorist attacks start happening and everything goes crazy and our four crewmembers have to fight their way back together again. I really loved the character work that went on in this book. We really dive into Naomi’s backstory, which is great. We also get a lot from Amos and Alex too. But the pacing of this book was weird. It just kept building and building and building and then it ended. Like I didn’t realize the climax had happened until the book ended. It was confusing, to say the least. This definitely wasn’t one of the strongest books in the series, but it also wasn’t as bad as the third book, so I’d say this is a medium book. It felt like a bridge between the fourth book and whatever comes next. And this series is definitely growing on me, so I’m still looking forward to getting the next book out of the library.

After that, I sped through Greetings from Witness Protection by Jake Burt. Finally, something that could maybe be a comp title for my middle grade fantasy book. If only it was fantasy. Nikki has bounced from one foster home to another ever since her father was arrested and her grandmother died. Then U.S. marshalls arrive with a proposal for her: that she join a family going into witness protection as part of their disguise and also as an extra layer of protection. This book was full of so many great things. It was tense, because the family is trying to hide and stay out of public notice, but it’s also full of feelings because Nikki is discovering family and friends and a normal life. And of course it all comes together in a fabulous climax, and it’s just so great, and if you’re interested in a tense and heartfelt contemporary middle grade book, this is for you.

Next, I read Baker’s Magic by Diane Zahler. Bee is an orphan in a crumbling kingdom, but when she steals from a baker and he catches her, he allows her to work for him to pay for what she stole. Soon, she’s his apprentice, and she’s discovering that she might just have a little bit of baking magic herself. Bee learns about her powers and makes new friends, including the kingdom’s lonely princess. And when the regent magician attempts to marry the princess off and seize the kingdom for himself and the princess asks for Bee’s help, Bee, her new friends, and her little bit of magic embark on an epic adventure. This book has it all: evil magicians, baking, baking magic, strong friendships, found family, and even some noble pirates. ‘I do feel that it kind of simplified and glossed over some of the darker, more complex issues that came up, but it was still a fast, fun read, and I definitely recommend.

And then I finished off my middle grade reading spree of the month with Serafina and the Black Cloak by Robert Beatty. Serafina has lived hidden in the basement of the Biltmore estate all her life, and she has been told by her father to never go into the woods. Yet when a mysterious man in a black cloak starts wandering the estates grounds and children start disappearing, the woods might be exactly where Serafina needs to go to stop him. This was a fairly good book. I found the pacing to be kind of off. There were times when the book was really slow, and times when it was very tense and fast-paced. I also found the writing kind of telly in places. It was a fine book, but it didn’t stand out to me, and I’m not sure I would recommend it or go on to read the rest of the series.

Last month, a coworker took me to a book talk sponsored by the D.C. Bar Association. The book talk was the first part of the D.C. Bar’s celebration of the 100-year anniversary of ratification of the 19th Amendment—women’s right to vote. At the talk, Elaine Weiss was speaking about her book The Woman’s Hour: The Great Fight to Win the Vote. It was an excellent talk, and I got a copy of the book and started reading it right away. Unfortunately the book was not as good as the talk, in my opinion, and it took me two months to finish it. I found the subject-matter very interesting, but for something that was described as a nail-biting thriller, I was kind of bored. The book kept jumping around in time, and there were moments when the same event was discussed multiple times, and then other moments when something was referred to as if we knew what it was when the book had never talked about it before. At the same time, I think the book did a good job grappling with important issues like the problematic nature of the mainstream suffrage movement’s treatment of minorities and minority suffrage—basically they were willing to let that go in order to get white women the right to vote. But on the whole I was kind of disappointed that this was the last book I read in 2019. Definitely not finishing the year with a bang. On the other hand, I have heard that this book is being made into a TV series, and I’d definitely be interested in watching that.

And that’s it for December. While some of the books were a letdown, there were also so many books I read this month that I love unconditionally. Several of them are making it onto my 2019 favorites list, which I plan to post later this week. Have you read any of these? What did you think of them?

The End of a Year, the End of a Decade

Well friends, 2019 is coming to a close, and with it a decade is ending.

For the record I fall on the side that 2020 starts a new decade rather than being the last year of this decade. It’s true that the first year of the calendar was year 1, not year 0, so the first ten year period would end after year 10 and the next would start with year 11, but culturally we’ve been grouping decades from 0 to 9 for a while now, and the idea that 1920 is not considered part of the ‘20s, or that 1940 is not considered part of the ‘40s, is ridiculous to me. So I’m calling it the end of the decade tonight, and if you disagree you can do so quietly because I also feel like this is a silly thing to argue about.

So today I want to reflect on not only this year but also this decade. I set a lot of goals for myself this year, and while I didn’t achieve all of them, so many incredible things happened that I’m totally okay with that.

For Christmas in 2009, I asked my parents for a subscription to Writers Market. I believed that the book I’d been working on all through high school was ready to be published. I cringe a little now writing this, because in 2010 I still did not understand plot,  but all publication journeys have to start somewhere, right? It took nine years, a lot of help, a lot of revisions, and a lot of rejections, but last January I signed with my awesome agent Laurel Symonds. While I’ve been working on the same book for the past ten years, more than that really if you go all the way back to the very first idea, it is an entirely different book than that terrible draft I started querying agents about back in 2010. Excuse me while I cringe some more. And this past year working on revisions with Laurel has transformed it yet again. I’ve learned so much about myself as a writer in the last ten years, and in this year in particular. I’m still revising, but I’m really happy with how things are shaping up, and I can’t wait for the day when I can finally share this project with all of you.

Also in 2010, I was entering my last semester of high school, breathlessly waiting on college application decisions, and planning to go to the Seeing Eye over the summer to train with my first guide dog. I had no idea how much I would love not only working with my Mopsy girl but also how much I would love having her with me all the time. Together we went to Kenyon for four years, lived in Italy for a year, and started law school at Harvard. Now Mopsy is living with my parents, and I get home as often as I can to see her. She’ll be twelve in June, so she enjoys more snoozles in front of the fire than she used to, but she’s still up for a trot through the snow. If she feels like it. And once Mopsy retired, I got matched with my little Neutron Star. He is very different from Mops, but just as delightful in his own way, and seven years working with Mopsy has made me a better handler when it comes to Neutron. We’ve adventured all over Boston, and now we’re working on D.C.

A lot has happened to me since 2010, and I feel like a lot of it has culminated in my accomplishments in 2019. This decade, I graduated high school; went to college; got a Fulbright and lived in Italy for a year; volunteered at the New Hampshire Disability Rights Center; went to Harvard Law; decided I didn’t want to do disability rights law and wanted to be a space lawyer instead; and interned at the U.S. Department of Education, MIT, the National Institute of Standards and Technology, and Analytical Space, and participated in the Harvard Negotiation and Mediation Clinical Program. And this year, I graduated from Harvard Law, got a job at the FCC as a space lawyer, and moved to D.C. In 2010, I started querying my book. I got rejected, got some helpful advice from the agent of a friend of a friend, revised, queried again, got rejected again, revised, revised, and revised some more. In the meantime, I attended the Alpha Young Writers Workshop, wrote a bunch of short stories, and started submitting them to magazines. I was twice a finalist in the Dell Award, and I’ve had six stories published so far, including one story published in 2019. I also have a poem coming out in an anthology this spring, which I’m really excited about. I also wrote 2.9 other books this decade: my memory-wiping musical academy novel, which I’m halfway through a third draft of; my WWII Italy novella which I wrote for my senior honors thesis back in 2014 and haven’t touched since; and my middle grade space adventure novel, which I’m so, so close to the end of a first draft of but have paused on because of other projects. I kept up this writing through college, Italy, and law school, and while I admit it’s hard to do the amount of writing that I want to be doing with a full-time job, I’m still plowing on ahead with revisions for my middle grade fantasy novel.

This decade hasn’t been all sunshine and butterflies. There was a lot of rejection letters to get where I am now, including rejections from all the MFA programs I applied to, and I’d be lying if I said that didn’t hurt. In 2013, I had to have my right eye removed because it basically exploded. My year in Italy was really hard emotionally, as was my time at Harvard. We lost my special education advocate and close family friend for many years to cancer. My grandmother also passed away, as did all but one of my great-aunts and uncles, and my sixth grade math and social studies teacher whom I was very close to. My childhood dog, Kokopelli, also died, and if you have a dog you understand how heartbreaking that is and why I’m including him here.

But here I am, at the end of the decade, looking back at who I was ten years ago and who I am now and all I have been through and accomplished, and I am really proud of myself. I have a full-time job I’m enjoying, more of a social life than I’ve had in years, an awesome writing group, some truly wonderful friends, and more adventures ahead of me.

This is not only the end of the decade, but it’s also the end of 2019. I set some pretty ambitious goals for myself, and before I sign off for the year, I want to give you a quick rundown of how I actually did. I did graduate, pass the bar, get a job, and move with as little stress as I could manage. After my series of illnesses and injuries through the summer, I joined a barre studio in D.C. and I’ve been going three or four times a week. I’d like to do better with my eating habits—I kind of fell off the wagon around the holidays—and I want to get to the gym in my apartment building and do some more aerobic exercise, but I feel stronger and fitter than I have in a while, so I’m counting this as mostly a win. I set out to read 100 books this year, and today I finished my 109th book. I’m not going to finish another book before midnight, so I’m calling it at 109. And while I didn’t get to new drafts of three distinct projects, I did do an awful lot of writing this year, and everything else was so crazy this year that I forgive myself. Oh, and I blogged more, realized I was blogging too much, and became a lot less regular about it again. I’m still working on finding that happy medium, but I’m moving in the right direction. I did pretty well with all these goals. I haven’t decided what exactly I want to shoot for next year, so I’ll get back to you on that.

So how are you feeling at the end of this year and this decade? Did you meet your 2019 goals? What are your plans for the new year?

November Reading Roundup

I was intending to post my rambles about The Heart of Betrayal and the Beauty of Darkness before I posted this, but then I saw the date and wanted to get this post out there before it became even more ridiculous. Don’t worry, I going to talk about the rest of the Remnant Chronicles soon—but probably not until next week. But first I’m going to tell you all about the books I read in November.

November was a pretty good month. My parents came to visit and spent a week with me in D.C., I got my new writing group off the ground and after a few meetings we’re still going strong, I got sworn in as a real lawyer, and of course Thanksgiving. I managed to write every day in November too, so I’m feeling pretty proud of myself. I’ve been flipping back and forth between my middle grade space adventure project, which is what I’m showing to my new writing group, and my middle grade fantasy book, which I got more edits on from my agent. So a lot’s going on, but it’s all really good.

I can’t believe it’s already the end of December, and I’ve been living in D.C. and working at the FCC for almost four months now. I love December so much more than November, because the holiday season kicks off and everything is so much brighter and happier than November, which after daylight savings time is pretty much just dark and cold. December has Christmas lights and holiday parties and cookie swaps and carollers singing to you as you come out of the metro. See what I mean?

Collage of the covers of the 10 books I read in November 2019: The Heart of Betrayal, The Beauty of Darkness, Tunnel of Bones, Half a World Away, Willow Run, Alanna: The First Adventure, In the Hand of the Goddess, Cibola Burn, The Woman Who Rides Like a Man, and Lioness Rampant.December also means it’s time to look back at the books I read in November. I read ten books in November. Four of them were rereads. A lot of them were pretty short books that I just blew through in a single day. It was sort of a weird month in terms of how fast I read, because when my parents were visiting and when I was home for  Thanksgiving, I didn’t get much reading done because I wanted to actually interact with people instead of just hang out in my room reading. But in the couple weeks in between my parents’ visit and Thanksgiving, I just churned through a ton of books. On the whole, I was really happy with what I read this month.

First, I finished The Remnant Chronicles series by Mary E. Pearson. In October, I read the first book, The Kiss of Deception, which I talked more about here. This month I read The Heart of Betrayal and the Beauty of Darkness. Since I just talked about the first book and I’m aiming to talk about the other two soon, I’m not going to go too deep into the plot summaries in this post. The second book follows Lia, Rafe, and Kaden as they navigate life in Venda. Lia is trying to escape with Rafe, but she’s also becoming more entangled with the people of Venda. Rafe is trying to help her escape, and Kaden, of course, is trying to both keep her alive and keep her in Venda. I won’t give you a plot summary of the third book at all because basically anything I say about the third book will spoil the second book. I absolutely loved this series. The first half of the first book was a bit cringy, but it grew on me so fast, and now it’s definitely a favorite. I just love Lia and how she goes from a runaway spoiled princess to a young woman who makes these really difficult choices. She becomes such a strong character, and I love it.

Last spring, I read City of Ghosts by Victoria Schwab. The sequel, Tunnel of Bones, came out recently, and I read that next. After their adventure in Scotland, Cassidy and her family are off to Paris, where Cassidy manages to attract the attentions of a poltergheist and get a glimpse of what her ghost friend Jacob could become if he gets too strong. This book was delightfully scary, but also full of such great moments. I love Cass and Jacob’s friendship so much and I love how it develops over the course of this book. I can’t wait for the third book!

After that I read Willow Run by Patricia Reilly Giff. This is a companion novel to Lily’s Crossing, which I read last year. Twelve-year-old Meggie moves with her family to Michigan to work at the Wi’low Run airplane factory during World War II. We deal with prejudices against German Americans, a son and brother who is missing in action, and the fears of war. For being from the point of view of a twelve-year-old, it gets into some deep issues and it feels very real. Which just proves the point I make every chance I get that middle grade and young adult books can deal with really serious issues often in ways that are more poignant and powerful than adult books. This book made me cry quite a few times. Actually since it’s such a short book, I just cried the whole way. Not that it’s a downer of a book. I just have a lot of feelings sometimes.

Next, I read Half a World Away by Cynthia Kadohata. This is another book that I read in an evening. Twelve-year-old Jaden is adopted, and he considers himself an epic fail. Which is obviously why his parents are going to adopt another son. but when they arrive at the orphanage in Kazakhstan they learn that the baby they were going to adopt has been given to another family. They have to choose another baby on the spot. Jaden’s parents pick a baby, but at the same time  Jaden latches onto a different toddler. This book was another one with a lot of feelings attached to it, and I really really liked it. The ending felt a little rushed and convenient, and I felt like Jaden’s feelings that his parents were replacing him weren’t really resolved to my satisfaction, but I really did enjoy this book.

I was talking about Tamora Pierce’s books with a friend in the beginning of November, and we were being generally gleeful about the fact that her Tortall books are going to be made into a TV show. My friend asked if I’d discovered the Tortall Recall podcast, which is basically a forroup of friends who read the Tamora Pierce books as children rereading them now as adults and yelling about them. I decided to give it a try, and then decided to reread the books along with listening to the podcast. So I reread the entire Song of the Lioness series this month. As always, I really enjoyed revisiting these books about a girl who decides she wants to become a knight and disguises herself as a boy to do just that. Tamora Pierce’s books had a huge influence on me as a young writer, and even now I am banned from rereading her Circle of Magic series until I get my revisions done. But I admit that a lot of what keeps me loving the Song of the Lioness books is nostalgia. Now that I’m older, more widely read, and honestly more woke than I was even a few years ago, these books don’t stand up as well, and that makes me kind of sad. They’re still good books, I still enjoy them, and I’d still recommend them to anyone who hasn’t read them, definitely, but I now have other feelings that I need to unpack. I’m actually planning a whole post on this so stay tuned.

And finally, I read the fourth Expanse book, Cibola Burn by James S. A. Corey. After I finished the third book back in September, I said I would give this series one more book before I gave up on it, and I’m so glad I gave it one more book. Because this book was great! Now that they’ve figured out the rings, humanity has access to all these new earth-like planets, and there’s basically a land rush going on. But then there’s a group of refugees who fled Ganymede after the incident in book two and a corporation who start fighting over one of the planets, and the U.N. and the OPA send James Holden to mediate. And then of course the alien artifacts on the planet get cranky and everything goes off the rails. This was a fast easy read. I loved seeing the characters I loved from book two coming back in so many different ways, and I loved the different roles Holden and his crew were forced into in this book. It was good, and I’m pretty much sucked in for the series now, though I’m still not sure if it’s one for the favorites list.

And that’s it for November. I’ve already read a bunch of books in December, and I’ve already passed my goal of reading 100 books in 2019.  I’ll be back in a few days with a wrap up of all the crazy and great things that happened to me this year, my December reading roundup, and my favorite books of 2019. I’m also hoping to talk about the rest of the Remnant Chronicles, cliffhangers, and strong female characters soon too. In the meantime, let me know if you’ve read any of these books and what you think of them.

October Reading Roundup

Hey there. It’s November. The weather is finally turning, the pumpkin spice madness still somehow continues, and it’s NaNoWriMo. I’m not actually doing NaNoWriMo this year, because I’m living in revision land on a bunch of projects, so word counts are hard, but I am trying to write every day, and so far I’m succeeding.

But before we really get into November, a lot happened in October. I finished revisions on my book and sent them off to my agent, which is very exciting. I also got to meet my agent in person, which was also great. I started a writing group, and after a lot of gathering people and deciding how we were going to operate and finding where to meet, we finally had our first meeting last weekend and it was everything I wanted it to be. I kept on working, and while I still feel like I’m pretty clueless, I’m feeling like I’m slightly less clueless. I understand a lot of the words that are being used now, at least. I also really ramped up my exercise at the barre, because I won a free month and so I just went all the time, and now I’m addicted. While I’m still really tired and can’t quite get my sleep schedule the way I want it, I feel like I’m at least starting to find a balance between work and fun, and I’m really happy.

Collage of the 12 books I read in October: Oathbringer, Animal Farm, Peter Pan, The Winner's Curse, Long Road to Mercy, The Winner's Crime, The Kiss of Deception, The Winner's Kiss, Cutting for Stone, Night, Our Dried Voices, and White is for WitchingI also read twelve books in October. Wow! This brigns me to a total of 80 books in 2019, and so I’m back on track to meet my goal of reading one hundred books this year, but also I’m straining my collage app to the limit.

The books I read were all over the map. Some were really long, and some were really short. I read one book in Braille and the rest were audio. I continued with one series I’ve been reading, read a whole new trilogy, and started another one. I was also all over the map with genre. There was plenty of fantasy, but I read a couple classics, one World War II book, three books that were set in a secondary world but otherwise didn’t have other traditional fantasy elements, one literary fiction, one sci fi, and one modern gothic horror thing. I really liked a lot of these books. A couple of these books I ended up with lukewarm feelings. I really didn’t like only one book. And all of these books were new for me—no rereads this month.

So here are the twelve books I read this month and what I thought of them. I’ll keep this spoiler-free and link to full reviews if I have them, but as I said here, part of me finding a work-life balance means I’m stopping full reviews for all books.

First, I finished Oathbringer by Brandon Sanderson, the third book in the Stormlight Archive series. I have a full review for this book here. Oathbringer picks up right after the end of Words of Radiance. Kaladin is off to find his family. Dalinar is trying to pull the rulers of the world together into a coalition against the parshendi-turned-voidbringers. Shallan is having a really hard time. This book was pretty slow at first, and the ending was a little chaotic, but the plot was amazing, and I really adored the character development we got. I especially loved getting more about Dalinar’s past and watching him really struggle with it in real-time. Like wow I just love everything about this series and I am dying for the next book to come out. I know they’re massive, but they’re easy reads, and I can’t recommend this book and the whole series strongly enough.

Next, I read Animal Farm by George Orwell. Animal Farm follows a group of animals on a farm who overthrow their human owners, build their own society based on equality and sharing and all the good intentions behind communism, and take up running of the farm themselves. But as they realize what’s really involved in running the farm, their idyllic society tumbles toward more of a totalitarian dictatorship. I have a full review of the book over here, and it’s pretty ranty. I wasn’t a fan of this book. It had some good qualities, certainly, but on the whole, it felt like Orwell was spoonfeeding his morality to me, and I hate being spoonfed anything books. ,I especially hate being spoonfed morality. I know this book is a classic, but it just wasn’t for me.

After that, I went to the complete opposite end of the classics spectrum and read Peter Pan by J. M. Barrie. This book was a delight. I’m sure that you know the basic story. Peter Pan appears and whisks Wendy, John, and Michael Darling off to Neverland for fantastical adventures, where they face down Captain Hook and ticking crocodiles and so on. But the book has so much more than the Disney movie. The book spends a lot of time with the Darling parents, who notice their children have gone missing, and we spend time with their grief and their loss. The book isn’t about the kids’ adventures so much as family and childhood and adulthood, and it’s beautiful. I have a full review right here, but the short version is that I really enjoyed this book and definitely recommend it.

This month, I read the entire Winner’s Trilogy by Marie Rutkoski, The Winner’s Curse, The Winner’s Crime, and The Winner’s Kiss. You can see my full review of the first book, The Winner’s Curse, over here, but I didn’t get to do full reviews of the second and third books, and unfortunately I don’t think I will get to unless someone can find me a Time Turner so I can have more hours in the day. I really enjoyed this series. In a world where teens have to choose between marriage or enlistment in the army, Kestrel wants to be a musician. Then she buys a mysterious slave, Arin, and they fall in love, all while Arin is working as a spy in her house for the slave rebellion intent on reclaiming his country. Things get complicated. The first book had some problematic bits when it came to talking about slavery, definitely, but the second book did a lot to make that better. The second book was full of so much amazing political intrigue. I will admit some disappointment with the third book, because in the beginning-ish Kestrel loses all her memories and we spend a good chunk of the book as she tries to get them back and figure out who she is. It was frustrating because it felt like we lost all her character development from the first two books. But the ending of the series was really great, and on the whole I would recommend checking it out.

The October book for the National Federation of the Blind book club was Long Road To Mercy by David Baldacci. Atlee Pine’s twin sister, Mercy, was abducted when they were six years old. Now, almost thirty years later, Atlee is an FBI agent working in the Grand Canyon. When a mule is found stabbed to death on the Canyon floor, Atlee is sent to investigate, and soon she’s uncovering an international conspiracy. I admit that this wasn’t my kind of book. I’m not big into spy thrillers, and this felt like it had all the cliché’s of a lone detective story. It was certainly a page-turner, and it was easy to read, and there were some great characters. But given the title, Long Road to Mercy; the sister’s name, Mercy; and the emphasis on the sister’s abduction in the beginning of the book, I expected the sister to play a larger role in the book. Minor spoiler, the sister has almost nothing to do with the plot. Her sister’s abduction is    important to Atlee’s character, of course, but that was the part of the book that felt most overdone to me. I don’t feel strongly enough about this book to devote a whole post to it, but this would be a great place to talk about the importance of correctly setting up reader expectations. I expected the sister to matter to the plot. She didn’t. I was disappointed. This disappointment affected my entire impression of the book. And this could have been solved with something as simple as ‘a different title. Sorry to harp on this but it really bugged me, and some of the people in the book club discussion just didn’t get why I even expected this to be part of the plot. Anyway, while I won’t say I disliked the book, I didn’t really enjoy it that much either, but it’s also just not my kind of book. If you really like spy thrillers or suspense books, this might be the perfect book for you, and you should take my thoughts with a handful of salt.

I also started The Remnant Chronicles this month. I read the first book, The Kiss of Deception by Mary E. Pearson. I will definitely have full reviews for this book and its sequels, which I’m reading now, because I have so many interesting writing thoughts on this. So keep an eye out for that. The main premise of The Kiss of Deception is that we have a princess, engaged to marry a prince, but she doesn’t want to, so she runs away and settles in a little seaside town and is very happy. Then we have the jilted prince, who sees her as a challenge and goes after her. And we have an assassin from another country also looking for her. They both find her in the little seaside town, and because it’s a YA fantasy, a love triangle ensues. Yes the assassin is one of the corners of this triangle. I admit I was one hundred percent skeptical when I started this book, and if I could roll my eyes there would have been so much of that. But I really enjoyed it. The world building is really rich, and while Lia, the princess, is pretty insufferable for the first half of the book, she has so much great character growth. But my favorite thing about this book is that it surprised me over and over and over again. I went in thinking this was just another love triangle YA fantasy novel, and I made predictions accordingly, and I was so wrong. For example, I was one hundred percent convinced I knew which of the guys pursuing Lia was the assassin and which was the prince, and I was wrong. But looking back, it totally made sense. And this gave me so much respect for this book and for Mary E. Pearson as a writer. As ridiculous as the premise of this book sounds, I highly recommend you give it a try. I’ve already finished the second book, and I’ll say now that it’s even better than the first.

Next, I read Cutting for Stone by Abraham Verghese. This is the book we’ll be talking about in December for my NFB book club. I’m planning a full book review for this one too, because I’m really interested in how Verghese plays with time in this novel and I want to talk about that from a writing perspective. When a nun working as a nurse in a mission hospital in Ethiopia suddenly goes into labor, has twins, and dies in childbirth, the hospital rallies around the infants and raises them as their own. The book tells the story of the twins’ lives, starting seven years before the twins are born and ending when they’re fifty years old. It’s hard to describe this book beyond that, but it is really phenomenal. Just a small warning, if you’re squeamish about hospitals, surgery, and blood and guts, that’s a big part of this book, so it might not be for you.  But I loved it, and I highly recommend.

I’ve never read Night by Elie Wiesel. I’ve read so many World War II and holocaust books, and I thought it was high time I read this book. This was such a raw and visceral account of the holocaust. I can’t say that I loved it, because it was an incredibly difficult book to read. But I also think it’s an important book to read, and I’m glad I read it. If you haven’t read it, you should, though it is not a book to read right before you go to bed. Unless you don’t want to sleep.

Next, I read Our Dried Voices by Greg Hickey. Full disclosure, Greg gave me a free copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. This book actually isn’t available in any of the places I normally get digital Braille or audio books, so I’m really glad Greg contacted me, because I wouldn’t have had the opportunity to read this book otherwise. There is so much to talk about here. The book is set in a distant future where humans have cured all diseases, colonized another planet, and basically built a society where all of humanity’s basic needs are taken care of by automation. But now the machines are breaking, and no one knows how to fix them. This sounded like a really cool premise, but I had a hard time with this book. I particularly struggled to suspend my disbelief on what felt like the main premise of the book. The fact that humanity would build automated systems to take care of all their basic needs and not include some trouble-shooting mechanisms or backup systems is beyond me. Like aren’t computer problems ubiquitous? In all fairness, this one is explained by the end of the book, but it still made it hard for me to get into the book. More importantly, I really just don’t buy the premise that if you don’t have to work, you will lose your identity. The humans in this colony just romp mindlessly through the meadow, they eat when the bells ring, sleep when the bells ring, they have no independent thoughts of their own, they barely even speak. I admit the book and the writing do a really good job describing this and setting the scene, but I just couldn’t get behind it as a premise. If people have no need to work because all their basic needs are provided for, why wouldn’t they spend that time cultivating creative or intellectual pursuits? Just because all disease has been cured doesn’t mean there’s no need to continue studying science. That sort of thing. Personally, I found the idea that the need to work for our survival is key to our identity to be problematic. More so because when we actually confront this idea toward the end of the book—the people of the colony are actually compared to animals at one point—we sort of come at the confrontation sideways and never really resolve it. The ending feels like the book is just avoiding the issue it set up to talk about. Basically I wanted our main character, Samuel, to take a stand, whatever that stand might be. But he chose the option that was not taking a stand. This isn’t to say that there weren’t things about this book that I liked. I really enjoyed discovering how the world worked along with Samuel. I really liked Samuel’s adventure beyond the colony and character growth as he learns the truth. I liked that the theories I had were wrong. There were also so many moments where the writing in this book was crystalline and beautiful. I’ve actually come to the conclusion that I would have liked this book a lot better had I not had the timeline with the history of humanity from 2000 onward in the front of the book, and if I didn’t have the description saying that humans had cured all of the world’s ills and colonized another planet.  If I had gone into this book with no idea that this was supposed to be advanced humanity, for example, and it was more of a mystery figuring out what was going on, I think I would have enjoyed it more. We could have built up to the realization that this was what automation did to humanity. That would have been really cool, though I’m still not sure I agree with either the premise or the ending. So while this was a pretty neat book, short and fast and easy to read, and I enjoyed many parts of it, on the whole it just didn’t work for me the way I wanted it to.

Finally, my law school book club friends who also moved to D.C. have decided to keep up our book club. This month, in honor of Halloween, we read White is for Witching by Helen Oyeyemi. Lily Silver has died, leaving behind her husband and teenaged twins. They’re all grieving, but her daughter Miranda is taking it particularly hard. She already has a rare eating disorder where she only likes eating chalk, and now her mother is dead and she basically has a haunted house to contend with. I had a hard time following what was going on in this book, but I still really enjoyed it. The writing was so good, and it was so creepy. It really took me back to the American horror class I took my first year of college. I saw all the same themes and everything. I loved how gothic this book felt, very much like The House of the Seven Gables or The Haunting of Hill House, but also how very modern it was. And the writing in this book is just so vivid and beautiful. If you like bizarre and creepy haunted house stories, this is for you.

Wow! I read a lot in October, and a lot of different books. It was a pretty good reading month, too, because I really liked most of the books I read. I have some great plans for the books I want to read in November—The Starless Sea, Tunnel of Bones, the rest of the Mistborn books, the rest of the Remnant Chronicles, this book called Daughters of Nri which just  came out and which I am so excited about. And as I said, I’m planning some full book reviews for a few of these October books, along with some writing discussions I hope you’ll find interesting. In the meantime, have you read any of these books? What do you think? And can you recommend a photo collage app that will handle more than nine photos?

So How Much Can You See?

This is a question I get a lot. Like a lot a lot. It’s right up there with how do you accomplish anything and tell me all about your dog.

Personally I don’t mind answering this question, though I admit that I don’t really understand either the question or my answer.

Let’s dig into this a bit.

First, I don’t mind answering this question because it helps people understand what I might need in any given situation. If I say that I have trouble seeing in dim surroundings, then yes, I could use a little more help in the D.C. metro. This isn’t to say that I can’t navigate the D.C. metro for myself just fine, but on the off-chance that I’m with a friend or a coworker and I would rather rely on their assistance at that moment, I want them to be able to help me as much as they can—and not too much.

So how much can I see? I’ve answered this question so many times that I pretty much just real it off. I can see light and shadows and color in my left eye. I can’t recognize faces, but I can read print if it’s 72 point font and my nose is pressed to the page or computer monitor (it’s not a good way to read, of course, but it gives someone who can see a solid way to understand what I can see). I don’t have any vision in my right eye, though I used to. Since I used to have vision in my right eye, I can describe what it’s like to be totally blind as well. For me, it isn’t so much black as nothing. Sometimes I still see flashes of color or spots of light, because phantom eye is a real thing and my brain is constantly trying to fill in. I like to describe what I see in my right eye as a hole in my vision. It means that when I’m watching TV or going to the movies, I like to sit on the far right, so the hole doesn’t get in the way. When I’m drawing, I use my left hand now, because otherwise the hole and my nose get in the way. I always finish my description about my vision by reiterating that I identify as blind because I read Braille and travel with a guide dog.

You might think this is a lot of detail to go into. Sometimes I don’t go into this much detail. I often don’t describe what it’s like to be totally blind unless someone asks me. But I will say that I can see light, colors, and shadows, that I could read print if it’s 72 point font and my nose is pressed against the screen, that I have more trouble in either bright or very dim areas, and that I travel with a Seeing Eye dog and read Braille.

I go into this much detail for a few reasons. Blindness is a difficult concept for someone who can see to even comprehend. It’s more than walking around with your eyes closed or even walking around blindfolded. You can open your eyes or take off the blindfold. If you’re blind, really blind, you have to adapt your whole life. It’s definitely doable, but to someone who can see, it’s unfathomable—doubly so because how blind people accomplish daily tasks is often a mystery to the sighted world. This means that there’s a lot of fear surrounding blindness.

Sidenote: This is why stunts where people put on blindfolds to simulate blindness are both insulting and damaging. For more on that, see this post I wrote a few years ago on the #HowEyeSeeIt campaign.

Another sidenote: part of the reason I’m doing this series of blog posts is to demystify how blind people do things.

The other reason I give so much detail is that people often automatically assume that I’m totally blind, and this can lead to them trying to give me a lot of help I don’t need. This isn’t a terrible problem. I make sure to communicate what I do and don’t need in any given situation. But sometimes I can head that conversation off at the pass with a description of what I can and can’t see. Sometimes it’s a way to start the conversation about what kind of help I need or the fact that I don’t need help at all.

It’s obvious when you think about it, but blindness isn’t an on-off switch. Some people are totally blind, but I know people who are visually impaired with drivers’ licenses. There are people who only have light perception, and people who only have trouble seeing at night. Some people can see color. Some people have vision that is slowly deteriorating. I’ve been in groups of blind people where I have the least amount of vision, but I’ve also been part of groups where I have the most. I have enough vision that among my blind friends, I can be the one guiding people around. But compared to a sighted person, I have barely any vision at all.

When someone asks how much I can see, I don’t mind answering. It’s a good conversation starter, and I think I’ve gotten my answer down to something that someone who can see can at least grasp. But I wonder how much my answer makes sense to someone who can see.

To me, the idea of 20/20 vision is incomprehensible. Recently, a friend who is totally blind said that she didn’t really enjoy long descriptions of the setting in books because she can’t picture them. I admit that my first reaction was to judge her for her lack of imagination, but then I realized I also imagine what I’m reading based on my vision. I have a vague idea of what people can see, based on descriptions in books, but when I envision what I’m reading or what I’m writing, I always see things the way I see things in real life. I don’t magically have perfect vision in my dreams or in my mind’s eye. When I’m writing, I often have to ask friends whether it’s possible that a character would see something at a certain distance or in a certain context. Sometimes there are details that I’ve been told in critiques that a character would totally be able to see, like that time the premise of my whole novel fell apart because I didn’t understand that one character would recognize another character by sight.

When I was in fifth grade, I got prescription glasses for the first time. I put them on, and suddenly I could see that the green out the window was a tree, and that the tree wasn’t just green, but light green and darker green where the leaves cast shadows. Until I put on those glasses, I didn’t have those details in my mind. I understand vision a little bit, because I have a little bit, and while I can conceptually understand what it’s like to have more, I also know that I just fundamentally don’t get it.

When I have this conversation with a sighted person, it almost always feels scripted. They ask, “So how much can you see?” I respond. And they say, “Oh wow.” Or maybe they have one or two follow-up questions (at least these conversations have gotten away from the “How many fingers am I holding up?” response). But I wonder if sighted people have trouble understanding what I can see just as much as I have trouble understanding what they can see. Can they conceptually understand what I’m saying about how much I can see, but fundamentally just don’t get it? Someone who’s sighted definitely knows the pieces of what I’m talking about—light, shadows, colors, font size, contrast—but does that really mean anything to them? What are we talking about, really?

I don’t know the answers to these questions. Honestly it’s making my head spin a little bit. But I hope that by talking about it, we can undo some of the stigma and fear surrounding blindness, and maybe we can all become more empathetic in the process. That’s why I answer this question. That’s why I answer almost any question, really.

This got a lot deeper than I originally intended, but now I’m curious. Do you think it’s possible to really, truly understand what it’s like to have a certain amount of vision, whether that’s totally blind, totally sighted, or somewhere in between? To my blind friends, how do you go about describing how much you can see to others? Are you comfortable sharing that information with others? Do you find it’s helpful? To my sighted friends, is it helpful when I describe what I can see or is it just confusing? Let’s turn this into a real conversation.

Changing Things Up Again

A few weeks ago, I said that I was going to set a regular schedule for blog posts. I tried it for a few weeks, and I have come to the conclusion that this isn’t working for me.

Yes, last week was a crazy week. I was really sick, and then I was really stressed about imminent bar exam results, and then I passed the bar, which was great, but after all that I just crashed. But even though last week was exceptional, I was thinking that this isn’t working for me before that. Last week just served to underscore the fact that I’m exhausted.

In the last two months, I’ve discovered that working full-time is a lot. I don’t have a lot of time in the evenings and on the weekends, and so I have to set some priorities. Those priorities have to be writing and exercising. As much as I love blogging, the five, six, sometimes seven posts I’ve been doing a week has become too much. It’s turning blogging here into a chore, and that’s the last thing I want.

So I’m going to cut back a little. I’ve decided to stop doing individual, dedicated book reviews for all books I read. For one thing, I can’t keep up with myself. For another, my reviews are all starting to feel the same to me. I will continue to do my monthly reading roundup posts, where I talk about all the books I read this month. I will also do individual book reviews for books that make me think about writing, and I will tie my review of that book in with a post about the specific writing topic.

I will continue to review books on Goodreads, and I’m going to continue my posts about blindness and add regular posts about writing and revising, along with the book review/writing discussion posts. This is going to start with any book I finish after this post. I’m not going to backtrack to talk about books I just finished or didn’t do full reviews of over the summer. I understand this means I won’t get to go into detail for some books I really loved—Ash Princess, A Woman of No Importance, To Kill a Mockingbird The Martian—but the whole point of this is to set boundaries. I’m sorry if this turn of events is disappointing to you, and I hope to one day have the time to come but ack to doing full book reviews of every book I read on this blog, but it’s just not feaseable right now, and I think this solution will help me write more dynamic posts that I’m excited about sharing with you.

How to Revise a Novel While Studying for the Bar

I’ve been planning to write this post since August, but I’ve been stalling. First, because I didn’t actually finish revising my novel while studying for the bar, and I wanted to focus on that. Second, I didn’t want to end up in a situation where I talked about how to successfully revise a novel while studying for the bar and then find out that I failed the bar and have to come back here and say, “Just kidding. This obviously didn’t work. Don’t do this.” That would have been awkward.

But yes, I did pass. I found out yesterday morning, and it is the best feeling. Also, a few weeks ago, I put the finishing touches on my revisions and sent them off.

So since I can now say that I successfully revised a novel and studied for the bar this summer, let’s talk about how I did that.

To be clear, it was never my intention to be revising my book while studying for the bar. I got notes from my agent at the end of March—on the eve of a job interview, actually. I reviewed them, made decisions about revisions, and planned to complete those revisions before I graduated and had to start studying for the bar. I was moving right along through April, but two things happened. First, I underestimated the extent of the revisions in some places and did not account for the extra time I would need to work through some particularly snarly bits. Also finals. Finals happened. And despite professing all semester that I was done caring about law school, when finals hit it turned out I did care quite a lot. Then after finals I went apartment-hunting in D.C., and while I snuck in some revisions on the metro, it took me the whole week to do what I would have done in a couple uninterrupted hours at my desk. And before I knew it, graduation and bar prep was upon me, and I wasn’t done. Not even close.

Bar prep was incredibly intense and awful. I had to study eight subjects for the multiple choice section: civil procedure, constitutional law, contracts and sales, criminal law, criminal procedure, evidence, real property, and torts. I also had to study these subjects for the essay portion of the exam, along with agency, conflict of laws, corporations, family law, secured transactions, trusts, and wills and estates. I’m not even going to talk about the multistate performance tests. Keep in mind that I’d barely taken a third of these courses in law school, and most of the courses I did take were in my first year. Plus, law on the bar is different from law in law school. In law school, you learn how to figure out what the law is.  When you’re studying for the bar, you actually learn the law. (If you’re wondering what I was doing for the last three years, join the club.) The point is, I was studying ten to twelve hours a day, seven days a week. I was stressed beyond belief. I certainly didn’t think there was time to revise what still felt like a whole book.

But I also knew if I didn’t do some writing, I was going to crack up. I need writing the way most people need to breathe. (I feel like someone else said that better than me at some point.) Even if everything is going great, I need to write regularly or I get stressed and cranky. But I definitely need to write when things aren’t going great. Writing got me through losing my eye in 2013. Writing got me through my first year out of college, when I was living alone in Italy. Writing got me through 1L. Writing could get me through this.

I knew this about myself, but my bar prep course was also constantly reminding me to take time for myself. In particular, they said engaging in art helps you process the bar prep materials better because you’re switching the sides of your brain. Bar prep is a marathon, not a sprint.

So I decided to apply that to revising my book too. It was a marathon, not a sprint. It also had to be a secondary marathon to studying for the bar, too. I could take my time on these revisions, but if I failed the bar I would have to do all this studying all over again. (I don’t doubt I will have nightmares about having to retake the bar for years to come.)

The first thing I did was adjust my  expectations of myself. I was absolutely not going to revise a whole chapter every day. I wasn’t even going to try that.

So I took all the revisions I had to do, and I wrote them out in a step by step list. There were characters to cut, details and whole scenes to add, things to change and remember to adjust and keep straight later on in the book. Basically, I broke the book down by chapters, and then within each chapter, I had each task laid out in bite-sized pieces. Cutting a character from a chapter might be one bite, for example, maybe two (there was a reason we were cutting them). Changing a detail to keep things consistent with an earlier chapter would be one bite. Writing a new scene would probably be several bites, so on my list I wrote “add new scene in which X happens, then Y happens,  then Z happens.” X, Y, and Z would each be a bite. My goal would be to finish one bite every day. If I could manage more, that would be great, but it was neither necessary nor encouraged.

This process also really allowed me to free myself from doing my revisions in chronological order. I’m normally tied pretty closely to drafting in order, because I don’t really believe in skipping around to the parts you want to write and then filling in the gaps. What if I never filled in the gaps? I am a little more flexible when it comes to revisions, but this time, I was really flexible. Because I’d written out all my revisions in so much detail, I had a strong sense of the big picture of my book, so I was able to jump all over the place. What mattered to me right now was getting the revisions done and also maintaining my motivation to keep writing, because that was overall better for my mental health while I was studying for the bar. I also knew that once I was done all the revisions I had written down, I would read through it again from start to finish for a final polish before sending it off to my agent. So if one day I wanted to work on a specific scene in the climax instead of changing details to get rid of inconsistencies in my world’s climate, I did that. If the next day I wanted to go through the whole book and get rid of all references to mangoes—again the climate thing—I did that and knocked out a lot of bites while I was at it. If the next scene on my list wasn’t doing it for me that day, but I was really inspired by another scene later on, I skipped ahead. If I worked on what I was excited about working on that day, I ended up feeling more accomplished and less stressed, and I ultimately ended up doing more. This did leave me with one heck of a chapter to write after the bar, because I kept skipping it, but otherwise this system really worked for me, and after the bar I felt like I could conquer the world so this chapter didn’t take too long to finish up.

Generally, I wrote at the end of the day, after I’d completed all my bar prep tasks. Once, I tried to switch back and forth between studying and writing—complete one bar prep task, do one bite of revision, back to bar prep, back to revisions. It was great for the book, but I had a hard time focusing on the bar prep and fell behind, so I stopped that. Sometimes I would do a bite at lunchtime, when I was taking a study break anyway, and in the evening. But generally I did the bar prep stuff first, then wrote. I felt better about taking time to write if I’d finished studying for the day, and if I felt better about writing, I was more motivated, and I accomplished more. Are you noticing a pattern here?

I also wrote up my list of revision in hardcopy Braille with my Perkins Brailler. This allowed me to throw out whole pages of revision notes as soon as I finished with them, and this was so much more satisfying than deleting each bite from the list on my computer.

No, I didn’t finish all the revisions while I was studying for the bar. I think that would have been impossible. But I accomplished a ton. In between everything I had to do to move, set up my new apartment, and start my new job, I made sure to set aside large chunks of time—such a blessing—to writing. I finished up all the revisions that I’d planned by the end of August, then took my time going through and really cleaning it up and polishing everything that I could. While my bite-sized and all-over-the-place revision strategy kept me working through the bar, I won’t deny that my book had some sloppy edges. I somehow managed to write at least one scene more than once. I also overwrite, and so the new stuff I added had to be pared down significantly. A few weeks ago, I sat my butt in my chair when I got home from work, revised all weekend in a mad dash, and finished everything. it was great!

I’m not saying this is the best way to revise a novel while studying for the bar exam. I’m not even saying you need to or should revise a novel while studying for the bar exam. But if you find yourself in that position, whether because you have revisions to complete or because you have a project that could use some revising and you could use a break from studying, this is what worked for me: organize the revisions into manageable pieces, take them at your own speed and in your own order, and do whatever you need to do to keep yourself feeling both motivated and accomplished. And the whole way through, stay in touch with yourself and what you need as a writer, as a student and as a human.

I’m sure that working like this would also be helpful in other high-stress situations or at times when you have a lot going on but also want to get writing done. Next time I’m working on revisions, I’m definitely going to break everything down into individual bite-sized tasks again, though I might stick closer to the start to finish order of the book, because that pre-polish draft was a bit much.

Revising my novel obviously didn’t hurt my performance on the bar exam. It might have even helped, if that brain side switching thing applies to writing as well as visual art. I’m really happy with my revisions too, and I’m looking forward to whatever comes next in this exciting new book journey. It’s probably more revisions, but this time, there will be no bar.

Presumed Innocent Review

Cover of Presumed Innocent by Scott TurowBack in July, I read Presumed Innocent by Scott Turow. This is a legal thriller, and a few friends questioned why I was reading a legal thriller while also studying for the bar. I didn’t intend it to happen like that, certainly, but a friend recommended this book, I put it on hold at the library, and that was when it came up. So I read it.

Honestly I think Presumed Innocent really helped me understand what the heck was going on with evidence in my bar prep course. I didn’t take evidence in law school, so studying for the bar was the first time I was learning it, and it was a lot. This book gave me examples I could connect with more (because I connect better with fiction than casebooks).So whatever else I think of the book, and I have thoughts, Presumed Innocent for the win.

Also, I just found out this morning that I passed the bar, so pro tip: If you’re studying for the bar, maybe read some legal thrillers?

My brain immediately started trying to concoct a secured transactions legal thriller and now I’m horrified with myself. Let’s talk about this actual book.

Presumed Innocent is about a prosecutor who is arrested and tried for the rape and murder of his coworker. The coworker he was having an affair with. That’s about all I’ll say.

I liked this book. It took a while to get going, but once we got to the trial I was hooked. It got pretty technical with the legal stuff, but I liked that because it seemed more real to me. Bonus points because it tallied with what my professors in my bar prep course were saying about criminal law, criminal procedure, and evidence. I only took criminal law my first year of law school and didn’t take the other two classes at all so basically learned all the subjects for the bar. I wonder how it would be to read this book with just a layperson’s understanding of the law. If I didn’t know what was going on, I’d feel like the book got bogged down in specifics I found confusing, but my friend who recommended this book to me is not a lawyer, and she said she followed what was going on reasonably well and enjoyed all the specificity. I also really liked the way the book ended. It’s been months, but it’s definitely stuck with me.

This book wasn’t perfect for me, however. It was honestly a little too graphic for my taste in some places. Also, the pacing was weird. I already said it took a while to get going. Given that we know from the back cover that the main character is going to be accused of murder, the first third of the book until that actually happened dragged. Also, there’s a good quarter of the book after the trial ends, and it was basically way, way too much denouement. And I’ve written too much denouement before. I know.

This book is actually the start of a series that follow various characters from this book through other cases. The library didn’t have the second audiobook, and honestly I wasn’t invested enough to go find it somewhere else. It’s been a few months, and while I still think about this book from time to time, I honestly don’t think I’m going to continue with the series.

I did enjoy this book, however, and if you like legal thrillers this is definitely one for you. If you read it, I’d love to know what you think, and if you’ve already read it, do you agree with my opinion?

The Winner’s Curse Review

I’ve been powering through books this month. Like seriously I need to slow down–I can’t keep up with myself. After Peter Pan, I started The Winner’s Trilogy by Marie Rutkoski. The first book is The Winner’s Curse.

Cover of The Winner's Curse by Marie RutkoskiSeventeen-year-old Kestrel is the general’s daughter in a vast empire that is constantly waging war on other countries and enslaving the conquered people. Like all teenagers in the empire, Kestrel must soon choose between marriage or enlisting in the military herself, but Kestrel isn’t really interested in either. She just wants to play the piano, but only slaves are allowed to be musicians. Then Kestrel buys a young slave named Arin, and everything turns upside down. As Kestrel and Arin become friends, we switch between Kestrel’s and Arin’s points of view. Kestrel is navigating the world of high society, and doing so very well. She’s very clever, good at strategizing, and politically savvy. But she’s also falling in love with Arin, and maybe Arin is falling in love with her, even though Kestrel’s obvious preference for him is stirring vicious rumors, and Arin is working as a spy for the slave rebellion planning to overthrow the empire and reclaim their conquered home.

I really loved this book. The plot was intricate, and the characters were so well-done. I loved watching Kestrel and Arin become close and all the complications that created. I also loved how Arin forced Kestrel to see the truth of the empire but how Kestrel forced Arin to see that people like her were in fact people and not all monsters.

The thing I didn’t like about this book is that it really seemed to gloss over the horrors of slavery. Beatings are mentioned, and it’s implied that Arin’s sister was raped by the conquering army ten years ago, but these things are just mentioned or implied. We don’t see the horrors of slavery. Just as bad, there’s a history in our world of masters sexually exploiting slaves, and this book comes close to that, because Kestrel and Arin are falling in love, without really going into how problematic that is, not even within this world where Kestrel will have to either enlist in the army or marry someone else and a real relationship between her and Arin can never be a thing. That the master in this scenario is the woman and the slave is the man doesn’t make it less problematic. I will say that the second book deals with the slavery issue a lot more and sort of makes the first book better on this front, but it’s important to acknowledge that this is a problem with this book.

On the whole, I really enjoyed this book. I particularly loved the last third-ish. And the ending is perfect both to round off this story but also to set up for the sequel.